Support System

So you want to start over and change your life around. You want to lose weight. You want save money. Maybe you want learn a new skill and start a new career. It could be that you want quit your job altogether and start a business. Guess what, you can do it. The problem is you can’t do it alone. The good news is if you have partner you have a built in cheerleader. You have a guaranteed support system, or do you?

When you say I do and promise to be there through sickness and health or for richer or poorer. Not everyone is equipped to understand the assignment. What do you do when you want to improve yourself but the person that’s supposed to have your back doesn’t believe in you or support your new direction? There could be many reasons why they don’t feel obligated to support you. Maybe you’ve never been supportive of their endeavors. Maybe your the kind of person that always starts but never finishes. Another reason could be that they never had support growing up. They don’t know what that looks like.

Instead of being objective and optimistic. They are skeptical. They point out all the things that could go wrong or they question or undermine every decision you make. Why are you doing that? You should’ve done this instead. How to do you turn them around? How do you keep going if the one person who should believe in you just doesn’t and doesn’t want to even begin to try. It’s sad really.

First of all you have to realize that whatever it is you’re trying to accomplish is determined by what you do and believe. If you believe you can do it, that’s all that matters. If you’re willing to sacrifice everything to get it done, then nothing can stop you. Your partner will have no choice than to either continue doubting you or once they see your determination and hard work, they can start to believe and maybe then they’ll jump on board. In the long run if they never decide to support your dream and celebrate your accomplishments them maybe they’re not the right partner for you and just like they chose to ignore your perseverance you can choose to let them loose and not share the fruits of your labor.

The best thing to do is be clear with what your trying to accomplish. Set guidelines and expectations on what you need from them. If they can’t abide by that, then you need to have a different conversation. Once you commit to a person they should be able to count on you for anything and everything. Sometimes you can get discouraged if everything you do is frowned upon by the person that you are ready to do anything for.

The most important thing to remember is if you partner doesn’t believe in you, there are other people who do. Ailerons yourself with like minded people. People that will help you avoid your goals and celebrate your accomplishments. You are never alone. You have to find your tribe and build with them. Now go out and do whatever it is you have to do to be happy.

42

Over the past few months I stepped back from writing like I wanted because of work and a lack of motivation and inspiration. Life was just one continuous rerun. Work, sleep, eat, repeat. There was nothing to look forward to. Then last week happened.

I was born on September 4th 1979. So that meant that this past Saturday I was to complete my 42nd revolution around the sun. In astrology there is a lot of anticipation for September. It’s supposed to spark a season of change and renewal.

Rewind to Sunday before my birthday. I’m sitting at my desk. I start feeling anxious and realize my heart is beating at an accelerated pace. I clock my BPM at 130. I don’t have any difficulty breathing or feel any other symptoms. So I get up to see if I walk around it would calm my pulse. As soon as I stand up, I feel deep pain in the middle of my chest. I suddenly become Fred Sanford, and start thinking this is the “big one” and think I’m coming to see Elizabeth (my younger readers will have to Google it to understand the point of reference)

Being the son of a registered nurse, I am well aware of the warning signs of a heart attack. I never had shortness of breath or felt dizzy or a pain in my arm. About 20 minutes later, my heartbeat was back to normal and I felt fine. In other news, that same week, I bought stocks and cryptocurrency for the first time. My 17 year old daughter attended her first job interview. The same day she sprained her ankle. All of these random life events were all a warning sign of segments of my life that I needed to improve on and a reminder of time I will need to turn my life around beginning on my 42 birthday.

I always hear people talk about manifesting or claiming what you want. They never talk about putting in the work behind it. I have a lot of living to do, why not start now? It’s never too late to start so this is what I decided I will make my life’s work or meaning. My purpose will be to live a long healthy life. I will do what I need to do to not only achieve financial independence but to leave assets for my wife and child and the tools to continue earning. I do not want to die broke. I’ve been broke my whole life. I want to die a millionaire. I want to build a new bond with my family based on achieving goals and building multi generational wealth. I’ve spent years ignoring them spending my energy working for a company that never gave me more than just enough. I don’t just want to be rich for the purpose of having nice things. I want to be rich and in turn help everyone I know get rich. I want invest my earnings in the ideas of hard working people who don’t usually get a break. I want help immigrants and people of color achieve financial independence.

Deep in my heart I feel that it’s never too late to start your success story. What matters is starting and finishing. You will fail. You will stumble. You will not give up until you are done. You will teach others to do the same and pick up where you left off. You will have lived a life with purpose even if you waited until 42 to start. Now go out and do everything you don’t realize you can. Your kid’s kids are depending on it.

The Gay Agenda

I keep looking for concrete evidence of the Gay’s trying to recruit our children or brainwash our children into being Gay. Ever since I can remember on every type of show I watched there was a Gay character. He may not have been proud and loud but it was insinuated that they were gay. It was mostly for comedic postering. It wasn’t until the 90’s and 2000’s where Gay characters and couples were out and leading casts. From Ellen to Will and Grace. Even in cartoons and kids shows. You started seeing same sex parents and other family members. Never did I think that any of that would make a child Gay.

I grew up in a traditional Catholic family. I was never taught to hate Gay people. Although my mother is a devout catholic she never treated her Gay friends, family members and clients any differently or disrespectfully. She cleaned houses for at as many a 3 Gay couples at any given time. They were great bosses. They treat my mom and her kids like family. I was young. I understood that they were Gay but I never felt like that influenced me want to live a similar lifestyle.

It was 1984. I was in kindergarten at Langley Park McCormick Elementary. There was a light skinned girl with pretty blue eyes and dirty blond hair named Theresa. It was love at first sight. I drew her a rainbow heart to tell her I liked her. I don’t know if she like me back. It didn’t matter. Every year after that, in school I had at least one crush. There was always one girl who caught my eye and had me weak. Not once was it a boy. Meaning that I always knew whom I was attracted to. Funny thing is every Gay person I’ve ever known has told me that they always knew who they were attracted to from the moment they could decide. It was never a story of seeing a Gay person on TV or being forced to feel that way by a Gay person.

The difference between them and me is that they couldn’t be open about it. It’s ok for a boy to like girls but a boy liking boys or a girl liking girls. That’s ridiculous. If anything society has instilled a straight or heterosexual agenda. It’s ok to be straight. What did that do. Made people unsure of there identity. Many had to hide or even enter into traditional relationships to appease there families and religious circles. Now that people are more accepting and society has laxed their demonization of homosexuality then we’ve created this ludicrous notion that Gay people are trying to turn the everyone gay through media and entertainment. Especially gearing it to towards children.

I don’t know about you, but I remember my first exposure to Gay porn was from watching Sesame street. Everybody knows that since the 70’s they put a cell of gay porn into every 50th frame of the show, Some people actually believe shit like this to be true. I also know that there are adult men today that are secretly afraid to suddenly involuntarily become Gay. A friend once told me that when he was serving time anybody in there that was having sex with men, did it because they wanted to. They came in Gay. They weren’t forced to be Gay, and anyone raped in prison was as a form of violence and humiliation.

In my opinion people that are afraid of the imaginary Gay Agenda just want to have something or someone to blame if their kid comes out. They don’t want to be to blame. First of all. The negative stigma of homosexuality should go away. A Gay kid is not a bad thing. It’s not the end of the world. There is no one to blame because nothing wrong has happened. It wasn’t Gays on TV or that Gay cousin or playing with dolls. If your kid is gay, it’s who they are. You have to respect and support their decision. They need your love and support as a parent no matter how you feel about it. Do you think that Gay couples with children would alienate their child if they came out at straight? It’s 2021. We have worst things to worry about. Being Gay is not a sin. No matter how much you’ve convinced yourself of that. Premarital sex is a sin. Cheating on your wife is a sin. Masterbation is a sin. Watching porn is a sin. Eating pork is a (tasty) sin. Getting tattoos is a sin. Gossiping is a sin. Imagine going to hell for eating a BLT. That’s almost as crazy as going to hell for loving whoever makes you happy.

Body Mind & Soul

How much abuse can you take? I mean constand day in and day out abuse. The thing is that I’m referring to 3 types of abuse. Physical abuse. Mental abuse. Spiritual abuse. It seems that lately everyone I know is at the end of their rope. They’ve had enough of everything and everyone. Work, home, family. It all seems to be wearing on us. Not to mention the pandemic, the economy and state of the country and the world.

We get up everyday and do things that seem so routine. Things that may come with a monetary reward but are not rewarding to our souls. Then we have to work with people who don’t respect us, themselves or the craft. On top of that you have to serve people who view you as less than zero. They think that because you’re on the other side of that counter, you don’t matter and you should be happy to be allowed to serve them. At end of the day it’s all about value. How much people value you and most importantly, how much you value yourself.

The body is equip to handle a lot of abuse. The problem is repetition. Everyday you abuse your body. Between not getting enough sleep and being on your feet all day. Not to mention heavy lifting, mal nutrition, dehydration and stress. It’s no wonder haven’t slumped over already. Why do we do it? Why do we endure this constant abuse? Family, bills to pay. Pride. It’s all we know.

At the same time that are bodies are deteriorating so is our mental health. To think that you do so much everyday to make ends meet, but it will never be enough. Knowing no matter how hard you work, your bosses will never truly appreciate or reward your hard work. Then you go home. You can’t afford to do anything fun. You can’t afford to take a vacation or go to concerts. You’re family secretly resents you but would rather ignore you than show you support or appreciation.

Then there is the soul. Your spirit, your essence. Who you truly are. The third part of you which receives the least nourishment,. You don’t make time to nurture your soul because you’re too busy trying to keep a job you hate and pleasing people who don’t care about any or your 3 parts. How do you nourish your soul? First you have to forget about everything and everyone that is bringing you down. Then you have figure out what makes you truly happy. What ever it is, do more of that. Even if it’s only a few hours a week. The goal is to do more an more things that make your soul happy to the point that you’re doing that for your entire day.

Imagine if you put the energy you do into doing things that harm you physically, mentally and spiritually into do do things that actually heal you physically, mentally and spiritually? Imagine if you put yourself first and catered your life around the ideal that no body will be happy unless you are fulfilled. It’s time we take our power back. Take it back from your dead end job. Back from your one sided relationships and most importantly take it back the idea that you owe the world anything. You are the world, you owe yourself everything.

I know the idea of change is daunting. Self doubt also comes into play. I’m too old. It’s too late. It’s never too late. You are a badass. You work your hump off everyday for someone else to drive a nice car and own a big house. Put the same effort into your wants and needs. Nothing will change until you change it. The world has changed over the last year and a half. Hundreds of thousands of people died. The world will never be the same. You can never be the same. You have to change in order to survive. You are a survivor. If you’re reading this you survived a global pandemic. There is nothing you can’t do. You just have to believe in yourself and do everything you can to make your life and subsequently the lives of your loved ones better. Make it happen. I know you can.

Back To Life

Do you remember a time when you had nothing to worry about. A time when you were actually happy? Now all we do is work, pay bills and appear to be ok. Life has really done a number on us. It has made us boring and emotionally stunted. We have zero dreams and aspirations. All we wanna to do is eat this food and watch something good on TV.

Remember when you used to look forward to things. No matter how small, the anticipation was exhilarating. Something as simple as going to Mc Donald’s or going to the park was a big deal for me growing up. Now I can eat Mc Donald’s 5 days a week if I want and going to the park means mosquitos and unruly children running around. Somewhere along the way we lost our joy.

We decided that joy was in things or even in people. We stopped enjoying ourselves and the beauty around us. I can go to a restaurant and spend $200 dollars or spend $30 at the drive through and be equally satisfied. We don’t appreciate meals or even making them anymore. Nobody cooks anymore. I love to cook. It brings me joy. Growing up certain meals were an all day process in our house. We would all help. For instance making tamales. I was a 3 day process but the fun was doing together as a family. Now I can order tamales online.

Nobody eats together anymore. Nobody sits down at the table. They don’t talk about their day. In my house it’s every man for themself. There’s frozen food, sandwich fixings, and other heat and eat meal options. Everybody eats what they want, when they want. If we get take out. Every body grabs their food and goes the their spot. I live in the living room. My wife and daughter live in there respective bedrooms. Every one eats alone and watches what they want. We only get together every once in while when I’m off on a weekend. Otherwise everyone is independant.

Love, longing and emotion is dead. We care about each other but there is no emotional attachment. It seems to be frowned upon to show emotion. People don’t know how to appreciate and love each other anymore. They are just there and we don’t put a value on them because we assume that they will always be there. I grew up in a family that hugged and kissed and expressed their feelings. Now I live in a house were we barely speak to each other let alone express our feelings or God forbid show appreciation.

When I was a kid I wanted to be a cop. I thought is was a honorable job. My opinion of law enforcement has changed over the years but I still remember how I felt about the idea of wearing the badge. I used to dream and have aspirations. Why did I stop? I got to the point where my biggest aspiration is making it to my next day off alive. I think that at some point we inadvertently decided that this was it. This mundane lifestyle is all we will ever have. We don’t think that anything can change our lives at this point in the game. We stopped caring and wanting to be better. Having dreams is a let down at this point in our lives.

It’s all bullshit. We need to get back our innocence. We need to believe again and appreciate each other. We need to feel and create new experiences. We need to love each other while we still can because one day we’ll regret all the time we wasted. We need to believe in ourselves again and believe that anything is possible as long as we try. We’ve convince ourselves that trying is a waste of time. Kill that noise and live again. Love again and remember that there was a time where you could do anything you put your minds to and guess what? You still can.

Listen Up

Is anyone else struggling with life right know? I know I am. Money. The job. Relationships. All seem to be on one mission and that is kick me square in the ass. Of course like with anything in life you need to learn to take responsibility for what you did to cause these problems. They don’t just spontaneously manifest themselves. Two things I’m sure of. If you analyze each situation objectively you will realize where you went wrong and hopefully how to remedy the situation. Secondly, we’re not that different you and me. We all have similar problems. Class, race and age really doesn’t make a difference. The difference is how we deal with these problems?

Every aspect of you life starts with communication. Clear and honest communication. Not just with others, but also with yourself. Being honest and hard on yourself is a big step. Can I really afford that? I really need to stop being late for work. Am I being selfish? How do my actions affect everyone in my life? You have to take inventory to better understand what areas you can improve on. Self communication can also include talking to others or counseling. What others see can clear your vision if you are willing to accept their point of view in order to improve.

Next is communication with everyone else. Most importantly the stakeholders in your life. The people who directly benefit from or depend on your well being. Your spouse or partner. Your kids. People you conduct business with or work for. The right type of communication with these people can make a big difference on how you feel and how you traverse your daily life. First of all it’s a two way street. You have to be willing to state your needs and be willing to listen to their needs. You need to communicate without expense of detail what exactly you want and expect of these people. They need to be able to do the same towards you. There can be disagreements but there must also be compromise. There must also be a forum for grievance established. Where when someone feels they were wronged or disrespected they can bring it up in open and respectful discourse. What you can’t have a system where no one speaks up in order to spare feelings and then blow up when they’ve endured to much. We need to be able to communicate when ever it is necesary. We also have to learn to communicate the good as well. Regular appreciation and compliments are good for a healthy relationship. No one only wants to know when they screwed up. They need to know that you know that they are improving and moving in the right direction.

How about new people or the people not in your life. You can set those communications boundaries as needed. First of all is introducing yourself and speaking to everyone you encounter in a respectful tone and manner. This establishes the kind of person you are. Never ignore anyone because you think they don’t matter. You don’t know if this person could change your life one day. Then after you have regular interaction with a person you have time to develop an idea of who they are. Most importantly if they say or do some thing that directly affects you negatively. Address it immediately, not in front of everyone, but one on one. Say why you did not appreciate what they did and in the future it is something they could address with you personally. This will set boundaries. Plus maybe they didn’t intend to offend, but now they know how to move forward. Don’t let people walk over you because they tend to make it a habit unless you address it when it first happens. It’s that simple.

Basically you are gathering information on how to better deal with the people that matter and how to operate on a daily basis. Nothing is as simple as it seems. Just cause someone loves you doesn’t mean they necessarily like you especially when they think that you aren’t respecticting their wishes. Of course you have to know what those wishes are before you can take them into account. It equates to being seen. You can be invisible in a relationship. You can do all the right things and never be acknowledged only when you make a mistake. That’s not healthy either. Take control of the relationships in your life and things will seem a lot less stressful. It sucks to think that no one likes or appreciates you everywhere you go. You have to make your place in every situation. It all starts with open and honest communication.

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Have you ever stopped to think that you are the cause of all your problems? That every thing currently ruining your life is a direct response to your actions? The collection agency didn’t simply pull your name out of a hat. That job you hate so much. News flash! You’ve hated from the day you stepped foot in the building. No matter how long you stay, you will never like it. If your spouse is a lying, cheating dirtbag and you’re still with them? Guess who’s fault that is?

You are unhappy because you choose to be. People commit to one person for the rest of their lives and expect for things to remain the same. The person you fell in love with is not the person you are currently with. You are not the same person you were then either. You fell in love with an ideal a moment in time. The problem is that you both stopped trying. You both settled and with time stopped caring . Sure bills are paid and there is peace, but neither of you are happy. That means you have a difficult decision to make. Do you go or stay? Do you settle for what you have and live in quite resentment or look for something new and exciting.

It’s difficult because our humanity considers their feelings and other meaningless things like, what will your families think? The kids? Your first mistake is not seeing this selfishly? How will this affect me? Will this benefit me or make my life worse. That’s our problem. We never think of our own happiness. True, which ever way you go will come with it ‘s own set of repercussions, but if you’re staying true to yourself, you have to be ready to deal with the consequences.

The same goes for every personal and professional relationship you may have. People will stay at a dead end job they hate forever just to barely make it for a life they also hate. We don’t work to live, we work to survive. You make barely enough to pay all the bills you’ve accumulated to prove you have a better life. It’s not always the work that is draining. Sometimes it’s the people. Manager’s are supposed to be assholes but it’s the regular employees that make daily life miserable. They’re either too much or not enough. There are the ones that complain about everything and do the bare minimum but want to be respected and not overlooked. First of all, it’s a job. Everything you do, you’re getting paid to do. Secondly if you never step up you’re never going to stand out. Then you have the ones that think because they have a little time and experience that they own the place. Always trying to tell others what to do. Always dry snitching. The worst are the ones that get a little clout. They get a title and 50 cents and think they’re Co-CEO. Suddenly everything you do is wrong. Suddenly you have to be told to do everything you were already gonna do, because you do it everyday. So now they think they can sit in the office half the shift

Everyday you want to just walk out and never come back. Why don’t you? Who says that you won’t go out and get the best job ever? I get it. Stay for loyalty or because bills. The reason we stay is because we’re subliminally conditioned to believe that we can’t do better. That everything we’ve worked for and earned will be wasted once you walk out of those doors. It’s all buillshit. There’s nothing keeping you at that job that you can’t do elsewhere and even for yourself. It’s 2021. We have millionaires that got their start singing and dancing on Tik Tok. There are so many people making a good living on their passion. Doing something they actually love to do. What’s stopping you? You have to ask yourself, whose happiness is more important? Yours or a company that will replace you the day after you leave for someone younger and cheaper.

Basically what I’m saying is that it’s time to reevaluate your worth. When it comes to every aspect of your life. You need to start doing things that benefit you. Things that make you happy. Forget making everyone else happy. The best part is that the people that love you and have your back will love you more when they see your living your best life. The haters will see themselves out the door. It will not be easy because change is hard, but in the end you will appreciate the new life you carve out for yourself that actually makes sense and works for you. Do for you. Live for you. The rest will fall into place on it’s own.

Who’s World Is This?

Nothing happens unless you let it. You have to learn to control your surroundings. Everyone can be controlled, even your enemies. First you have to make yourself indispensable. You have to convince people that nothing can be right unless you’re involved. You don’t have to actually be good, you just have to make them think you’re that good.

How do you do that? First of all, always be on time. Better yet always be early. Be the first one ready to work and the last one to leave. Always volunteer. Especially when no one else wants to do it. Get it done quickly and efficiently. Even if it was hard, don’t let them see you sweat. Do not complain in front of others. They are your competition and will use your complaints against you. Most importantly, next time, do not wait to be asked. If you know it needs to be taken care of, take care of it.

The idea is to create an image of dependability and trust. Trust is more important than any skill or achievement. If someone truly trusts you, it gives you the ability to ask for anything, within reason. You build trust, you build life long allies. People will always have your back. Of course if you break that trust, you build lifelong enemies. Reputation is everything. If people trust you and know you for your work ethic, they will speak your name with confidence. They will put your name in conversations that no amount of ass kissing can.

Next you have to pay attention to the details. Everyone has a tell. Everyone has a weakness. Everyone has a sweet tooth. They all have something that you can use to bend them to your will. You have to find out what that is and keep in your file so you can use it when necesary. It’s not something to be exploited, because it will show if you over use it. It’s a pass you use only when needed. Use it, then

Once you’ve built a reputation, than you build an army. The best way to build loyalty is to take care of people. Not just anybody but people that have proven they too can be indispensable. Find out what they need. provide that for them. Make sure that they owe you. If they feel indebted to you, they will always do what what’s in your best interest. When they do that for you, you reward them. Never take them for granted or treat them like they are inferiors.

The Choice Is Yours

Life is hard. The world is a scary place. We all start exactly the same way. Naked and afraid. We don’t have any idea how we got here and what we’re supposed to be doing. If we’re lucky we get people who will protect us and teach what we need to know about making it through life.

Some of us are born with money others are born into poverty. None of us are born smart or skilled. We don’t even know who we are yet. We don’t know that the color of our skin will affect the life we live. We are taught all those things as we grow up. What does any of this mean?

It means that we all have the same starting position and the same opportunities. We can be and do anything we want. Sure being rich and white will give you a head start. In the end none of that matters. You have make the decision to not struggle anymore. If you don’t know something, learn it. Success is just being in the right place at the right time and knowing the right people. A successful person isn’t necessarily smarter or more skilled that you. Most successful people now that the key is surrounding themselves with smart and skilled people. Not even being college educated means anything anymore.

You have to stop letting your circumstances dictate who you are and who you can become. Nobody was ever told to be great. They just decided one day they were going to stop being mediocre. They decided they were going to do what it took to be successful. Whether that meant losing sleep, losing friends or eating ramen noodle everyday. They sacrificed their comfortable but mediocre life for something better. Then they didn’t give up, no matter how bad it got, until they were done.

You can do the same if you just decide to figure what is that great thing you want to do. Then figure out how to do it. Then let go of everything and everyone that is holding you back. You will need help, so find people that want to see you succeed. Then go out and get it. No matter what. The only thing that can stop you is you. Now get up and do it.

Misogyny: A True Story

When did misogyny become part of being a man? When you’re on social media as much as I am to start to create a profile of the kind of friends you have in your mind. Some are exactly how you know them from real life. Others are borderline sociopaths. Truth is you can only learn so much from someone based on the types of memes they post. Then you have that one person that only posts negative memes about women.

We are all entitled to our own opinion about people. Especially if they are public figures. They have to know that there will be a certain level of animosity from the public because of who they are. Then you have the people that convey the notion that everything every woman ever does is a direct assault on their masculinity and don’t get them started on the gays.

They guys think that rape accusations are always made up. They think if a woman shows skin she shouldn’t be mad if a man hits on her or calls her out of her name. They think women should feel grateful for being ogled by men. That if they’re not grateful for the attention, then they hate men. The worst thing about men like these is that one, they’re momma’s boys and they usually have daughters.

We are raised believing that the men in our lives should be venerated like God’s, whether they deserve it or not. It could be our father, grandfathers, uncles or the weatherman or our favorite entertainer. When OJ Simpson was accused of killing his ex wife and her friend, his fans could not accept that he could’ve committed the crime. Not because it was proven that he didn’t, but because he was their male hero. Everything they say is the truth and they would never steer us wrong or do anything bad to anyone. The man in the household is always the authoritarian. “Wait until your father get’s home” or “If your dad sees this mess you’re going to be in big trouble”.

Men’s role in society to keep everything steady and moving along. The woman is the secondary parent. 9 times out of 10, the kids will try to get over on the mother. They will lie to the mother and even directly undermine their authority. We’re raised believing that women are weak and problematic. We’re also raised to believe that anything bad that happens to a woman, no matter how heinous, is entirely her fault and deserved.

If a woman is not modest, subservient to her male counterpart and complimentary than she’s a bad wife. If a woman is independent, and confident in her sexuality than she’s got to be a whore. Take Megan The Stallion for instance. She sells a certain brand of sexual awareness with her music. Everyone that has seen her music videos knows that there will be skin, twerking and a lot sexual references in her lyrics. Does that make her a whore? If a man has the same visuals and subject matter in his music, then he a hero. A true example of masculinity.

I see some guys on social media trash everything she does. She’s a whore, she can’t rap. etc. etc. I think they do it for show. I think that they are actually turned on by her, but it’s easier to trash her and appear to be concerned with this faux outrage than say she puts the wind in their sails. Every generation has had a female artist that pushed the envelope of sexuality and artistic expression. We had Madonna, before her was Eartha Kitt and Marilyn and Josephine Baker to name a few.

What they did was outrageous for their time. Of course tame by today’s standards. In the man’s world of rap, where men wear designer clothes, rap about drugs women and guns, why do people think a woman using her assets to sell records is taking it too far? It’s a double standard. Their outrage is not based on the protection of femininity. It’s hate towards rampant femininity. How dare they do that? Why is a man not putting an end to this immorality. Same guy is at the strip club making it rain on strippers.

I think the hate and animosity is entrenched on the simple fact they know they will never get anywhere close to that woman. That she’s being sexy for herself and could care less if a man likes it or not. If Megan announced she was giving it away to every Tom, Dick, and Harry, those same guys would be the first ones in line. Since they can’t, then it’s easier to throw mud on her name and everything she does.

They somehow think that these women are going to negatively influence our little girls. Not caring whether their male counterparts are negatively influencing our little boys to be sexuality promiscuous, sell and use drugs and glorify guns and violence. It’s all entertainment. As a parent you have the right to censor what they actually have access to. Since that’s practically impossible in the age of smart phones. It is also your responsibility as a parent to educate you children so they understand that it’s entertainment and that some things are not appropriate for children to say and do.

We need to start reprogramming ourselves and our children as to how women are conceived. A woman doesn’t have to “pure” or an angel to be a role model. A woman that is comfortable in her body and likes to display it does not make her loose or a bad example.

Most importantly, one example of a women does not dictate every woman’s mindset or agenda. If you were mistreated by a woman in your life. That was a one time thing. That person did that to you. Not all women are the same. Not all women are your mother. They are not here to serve you or accept your bad behavior and treatment. Women can be strong and independent and loyal and trustworthy at the same time.

As men let’s to better. We owe it to our mother’s. We also have strong and powerful women to raise. They will be leaders tomorrow. They can’t be fearless leaders if we raise them to think that they are inferior to men. They have to know that they control their bodies and their destinies and that they can accomplish anything they set their minds to.