Support System

So you want to start over and change your life around. You want to lose weight. You want save money. Maybe you want learn a new skill and start a new career. It could be that you want quit your job altogether and start a business. Guess what, you can do it. The problem is you can’t do it alone. The good news is if you have partner you have a built in cheerleader. You have a guaranteed support system, or do you?

When you say I do and promise to be there through sickness and health or for richer or poorer. Not everyone is equipped to understand the assignment. What do you do when you want to improve yourself but the person that’s supposed to have your back doesn’t believe in you or support your new direction? There could be many reasons why they don’t feel obligated to support you. Maybe you’ve never been supportive of their endeavors. Maybe your the kind of person that always starts but never finishes. Another reason could be that they never had support growing up. They don’t know what that looks like.

Instead of being objective and optimistic. They are skeptical. They point out all the things that could go wrong or they question or undermine every decision you make. Why are you doing that? You should’ve done this instead. How to do you turn them around? How do you keep going if the one person who should believe in you just doesn’t and doesn’t want to even begin to try. It’s sad really.

First of all you have to realize that whatever it is you’re trying to accomplish is determined by what you do and believe. If you believe you can do it, that’s all that matters. If you’re willing to sacrifice everything to get it done, then nothing can stop you. Your partner will have no choice than to either continue doubting you or once they see your determination and hard work, they can start to believe and maybe then they’ll jump on board. In the long run if they never decide to support your dream and celebrate your accomplishments them maybe they’re not the right partner for you and just like they chose to ignore your perseverance you can choose to let them loose and not share the fruits of your labor.

The best thing to do is be clear with what your trying to accomplish. Set guidelines and expectations on what you need from them. If they can’t abide by that, then you need to have a different conversation. Once you commit to a person they should be able to count on you for anything and everything. Sometimes you can get discouraged if everything you do is frowned upon by the person that you are ready to do anything for.

The most important thing to remember is if you partner doesn’t believe in you, there are other people who do. Ailerons yourself with like minded people. People that will help you avoid your goals and celebrate your accomplishments. You are never alone. You have to find your tribe and build with them. Now go out and do whatever it is you have to do to be happy.

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