Back To Life

Do you remember a time when you had nothing to worry about. A time when you were actually happy? Now all we do is work, pay bills and appear to be ok. Life has really done a number on us. It has made us boring and emotionally stunted. We have zero dreams and aspirations. All we wanna to do is eat this food and watch something good on TV.

Remember when you used to look forward to things. No matter how small, the anticipation was exhilarating. Something as simple as going to Mc Donald’s or going to the park was a big deal for me growing up. Now I can eat Mc Donald’s 5 days a week if I want and going to the park means mosquitos and unruly children running around. Somewhere along the way we lost our joy.

We decided that joy was in things or even in people. We stopped enjoying ourselves and the beauty around us. I can go to a restaurant and spend $200 dollars or spend $30 at the drive through and be equally satisfied. We don’t appreciate meals or even making them anymore. Nobody cooks anymore. I love to cook. It brings me joy. Growing up certain meals were an all day process in our house. We would all help. For instance making tamales. I was a 3 day process but the fun was doing together as a family. Now I can order tamales online.

Nobody eats together anymore. Nobody sits down at the table. They don’t talk about their day. In my house it’s every man for themself. There’s frozen food, sandwich fixings, and other heat and eat meal options. Everybody eats what they want, when they want. If we get take out. Every body grabs their food and goes the their spot. I live in the living room. My wife and daughter live in there respective bedrooms. Every one eats alone and watches what they want. We only get together every once in while when I’m off on a weekend. Otherwise everyone is independant.

Love, longing and emotion is dead. We care about each other but there is no emotional attachment. It seems to be frowned upon to show emotion. People don’t know how to appreciate and love each other anymore. They are just there and we don’t put a value on them because we assume that they will always be there. I grew up in a family that hugged and kissed and expressed their feelings. Now I live in a house were we barely speak to each other let alone express our feelings or God forbid show appreciation.

When I was a kid I wanted to be a cop. I thought is was a honorable job. My opinion of law enforcement has changed over the years but I still remember how I felt about the idea of wearing the badge. I used to dream and have aspirations. Why did I stop? I got to the point where my biggest aspiration is making it to my next day off alive. I think that at some point we inadvertently decided that this was it. This mundane lifestyle is all we will ever have. We don’t think that anything can change our lives at this point in the game. We stopped caring and wanting to be better. Having dreams is a let down at this point in our lives.

It’s all bullshit. We need to get back our innocence. We need to believe again and appreciate each other. We need to feel and create new experiences. We need to love each other while we still can because one day we’ll regret all the time we wasted. We need to believe in ourselves again and believe that anything is possible as long as we try. We’ve convince ourselves that trying is a waste of time. Kill that noise and live again. Love again and remember that there was a time where you could do anything you put your minds to and guess what? You still can.

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